Seventeen Ain't So Sweet
by dontxbexstupid1995
Summary: Haunted by an abusive past, 17-year-old Bella is sent to California hoping for a fresh start. But when she captures the interest of the conceited, arrogant Edward Cullen, will he be able to break down her walls, or will her past hold her back? -All Human.
1. Finally It's The End

**Okay, so with all my spare time, I've decided to rewrite Seventeen Ain't So Sweet. **

**It WILL be different than before, cuz obviously I can't remember my exact plot from before, so there will be changes. You guys can totally contribute ideas if you want, or help me out if you remember something you liked, cuz I'm not too sure exactly what to write.**

**I've got another story out currently, called "The Streets of Big Apple". It's got some similar attributes, but seriously, it's NOT THE SAME. So yeah. **

**Hope you go check that out too. **

**I hope you guys review. I remember I got tons of support when I first wrote this story, so I'd really appreciate it if I had the same now. I will try to speed things up, because I know when I previously wrote it, it was so freakishly slow, it even annoyed me.**

**I'm going to try follow of the same plot, but there will be differences.**

**So, please review, and tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

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**Chapter One**

**Finally It's The End**

The empty liquor bottle smashed against the railing of the staircase. I whimpered in fear, as he stalked into the hallway, glaring in his drunken temper.

"Get back here, bitch."

He grabbed the lamp from the table beside, and hurled it towards me. On instinct, I dodged up the staircase, ignoring the screaming pain, as shards of the shattered bottle pierced the underside of my hand. I stood on the rim, which luckily was not littered with broken glass, but my hands had hit the ground.

The lamp tugged harshly against the cable, still attached to the electricity socket, and clattered loudly at the foot of the staircase.

Silence. Everything seemed to freeze, as I locked eyes with Phil.

He smirked, alcohol dribbling down the side of his mouth. It was almost like seeing a rabid dog, hungry for its kill.

Taking a deep breath, I raced up the stairs, ignoring the sharp jabs of pain here and there.

As soon as I reached the first landing, I slipped through the small door, slamming it behind me. I tugged on the lock, hoping that it would work this time.

I sucked in a breath, trying to calm down. I could feel the beginning of tears in my eyes. Grabbing the ratty hair band around my wrist, I tied my hair into a quick sloppy ponytail.

I bit my lip, trying to ignore the pain throbbing at the base of my palm. With one hand, I frantically roamed the surface under my thin mattress, looking for the stack of Band-Aids, and first aid supplies, I had purchased last week.

When I found them, I grabbed the alcohol bottle. I clenched my teeth together, as slowly I dripped the alcohol onto my hand, letting it soak on my fresh wounds.

I closed my eyes, ignoring the screams that were fighting to make its way out of my throat. It was like a fire, burning in the cuts in my hand, stinging in excruciating pain.

I let a single tear slide down my cheek, as the immense burning feeling slowly died away. I glanced at the open wound briefly. I could see a sharp glass piece glinting in the dim light of my room.

My eyebrows narrowed, as I carefully tapped it with my finger, testing the depth of the wound. Pressing my lips together, I ignored the shocks of pains and numbness it sent rolling up and down my arm, as I pulled it out, between a thumb and a forefinger.

I let it clatter to the ground, and watched blankly as an image of my face bounced of the reflections of the large glass piece. I watched as the single tear rolled of the sharp cheekbones, trailing from my plain brown eyes.

Stray mud brown hairs waved around my heart-shaped face. I glanced in pity and despair at the picture in the glass, trying to ignore the growing pain, worse than the burning of alcohol, throbbing in the deep center of my chest.

I choked out a sob, as I quickly plastered a band-aid over the biggest wound.

I held my breath, ignoring the blood. It bothered me, but after all these years, it wasn't hard to get used to it.

I hiccupped once, as I packed the kit away, leaning against the corner of my bedroom. Well, it wasn't much of one. It was the attic of the house.

Blankly, I drew my finger across lines I had cut into the side of the wall. They were carved into the corner, near my mattress, so it was hidden in the shadows. If anyone in the house knew that I had 'vandalized' my room, I would be throttled.

Each line signified a year of my life. Just a month ago, I had cut my seventeenth line. My seventeenth birthday. My seventeenth year of my life.

It wasn't like anything had changed. I was still the miserable little girl I was years and years back.

My life was a wreck. I deserved it. I had been told over and over again, about what a disgrace I was to the family.

I held not single glimmer of beauty. I was not an athlete. And I wasn't really smart either.

I tried though. I tried so hard, yet I didn't earn one spark of satisfaction from my mother. It killed me inside, but I hadn't ever stopped trying, to hope for a single light in my life.

I didn't deserve to be here. I didn't deserve to be anywhere. She hated me. I knew that. She had beaten me, screamed insults at me, yet I still respected her.

I couldn't do anything about it. I had considered options before.

Suicide; but I couldn't balance out whether I was more scared of life or death.

Running away; but I wouldn't be able to deal with any of the atrocities that I heard existed outside my house.

I knew that I was no more than a worthless coward.

My mother, Renee, had been in control of my life, from all the times I could remember. It felt as if I had been unwillingly, yet permanently, bound to her.

Although she hated me so much, she just wouldn't give me the option of escaping the life she had created for me.

And the front door slammed downstairs.

My eyes widened on instinct, and I jumped up, my back pressed tightly against the wall. My fist clenched, my fear overwhelming the fresh pain building up at the base of my palm.

"Hey, sweetheart," Her voice travelled through the house, words that I would never be able to receive.

"Honey, you're home!" Phil replied, with a false sweetness that was enough to make me puke. Yet it was what he said next that made my blood run cold in my veins. "That daughter of yours _again_, she-"

And I covered my ears, not willing to hear a word more. I knew what was going to happen next.

Exactly I had assumed, no more than a mere five minutes later, a fist pounded harshly against the rickety door of my bedroom.

"_ISABELLA_ _SWAN_, YOU GET OUT HERE RIGHT _NOW_!" Although she had married Phil, my last name wasn't changed to match hers.

My eyes widened, and pain shot through my arm as I tightly grasped a pipe trialing my room with my injured hand.

Suddenly the pounding stopped, and suddenly, there was a loud 'click', and the rusty doorknob creaked round.

A key! She had a fucking key!

Fear enveloped my chest, and I could feel my stomach twist uneasily in horror.

And Renee entered the room, her chin held up proudly, but her eyes glaring in such ferocity, my heart stuttered unevenly.

There was not a single breath in my throat, as I tried aimlessly to shrink deeper into my corner.

"You little bitch." Though her voice was quiet, it throbbed with menace and hatred. "Phil told me about what a total _disgrace_ you were today. And you lost him a few _beer bottles, _I hear?"

Her teeth clenched, as she watched me in complete loathing.

"I would kill you if I could, you know. You're nothing but a disgusting sewer rat, and you are worthless to me."

I winced, as her words burned in my chest. I had heard this speech before, but her sentiments never failed to stab at my heart.

She licked her lips.

"But guess what, little Isabelly, I have found you a way out." She smiled in eager triumph, and spat at the ground of my room. "You're going to go far, far away from us now. Don't try to turn back."

I hiccupped in surprise, Renee throwing me a quick glance of disgust.

She tossed a couple flyers on the wooden flooring. "You'll be leaving next week, no arguments necessary. I've already sent in the forms. You won't visit. And finally, you and your bitchy little scheming will finally leave this house. Forever."

Finally, she leaned forward, gazing viciously in my eyes. "Oh, and don't forget. One word of complaint from the school, and me and Phil won't regret providing a little visit, and, well, let's just say; you'll have a little lesson of your _own_."

And she slammed the door behind me, letting the room tremble momentarily. I could hear a drone of voices through the walls, as Phil and her muttered frantically.

"And you didn't think that it was too expensive, 'cause-"

"Jesus, it's not my fucking fault! This woman was handing out these flyers, and one look at the words 'Boarding School' and my mind was set. I don't give a shit where she goes. So-"

"Where is this boarding school anyway?"

"California." She sounded smug. "I know it looks close on the map, but you couldn't walk there, for Christ's sake. Plus, its only October, flights won't be _that_ expensive."

"Couldn't have been another country, huh?"

"Hey, at least by next week, she'll be _out_ of our lives.

"And then we can move to wherever we want. Finally with her gone."

I could hear victorious laughter, as they conversed of the freedom of their lives without me.

Wincing, I took in a few steady breaths, letting my heartbeat slow.

My hand shaking, I slowly picked up the flyer, sitting crumpled on the ground. Gently, I flattened out the folds, and read on.

_Southern California__ Boarding High_

_A school of diversity_

_Southern California Boarding High, opened a mere 10 years ago in 2000, is a school which holds strongly the belief that all students are competent of achieving success in learning and contributing to the interests of a diverse and interdependent world. _

_The goal our school holds intends for students to leave our schools with the self-confidence that comes from a satisfying, successful life here. We hope to attain this mission, promoting the clear expectations of high academic achievement. Along with that, we hope to enhance and unite the diverse range of culture and ethnicity in our school. _

_We emphasize the joy of learning among our students, so that enthusiasm for knowledge as not forgotten as they leave the school, to pursuit their lives, hopefully with the rightful influence, strong enthusiasm for understanding, that our school hopes to provide._

And it went on and on. I doubt that Renee ever read this, before confirming to send me to this school.

I closed my eyes.

A week from now, I would not live here anymore. I'd be in a complete different state, living in an entirely different world.

It was so huge, so overwhelming, I wasn't able to wrap my head around it.

One minute, Phil was flinging beer bottles at me, and I was trying not to scream in the pain. By the next week, I wouldn't live in this house anymore. This living hell.

I don't know if I was excited or scared. Joy wrapped around my chest, at the thought of being a thousands of miles away from this hell-hole.

But I was scared as well. How would I be able to deal with everything, a new school, a new life, all alone?

Mixed emotions swirled in my head as I closed my eyes, trying to absorb the blur of events that had just happened.

By next week, I knew my life would change drastically. In California.

With people I had never met in my life.

It sounded so very far away.

_---_

"Get out," She hissed, pointing towards the airport entrance, as if I couldn't see it. The window was open, and she forced a polite smile on her face as the traffic conductor glanced at her gesturing arm.

"Need a hand, miss?"

"No, it's alright." She smiled sweetly, but dropped the façade as soon as the man had his back turned.

Finally, the car stopped to a curb, and hurriedly, I shoved the door open, ignoring the unpleasant hiss from Renee.

Without turning around one last time, I made my way to the airport. My ratty suitcase creaked behind me, as I dragged it towards the counter.

I tried my best to look considerate today. I had never been so far from the house, which I didn't call home, before.

School was the single place that I would ever see people, and this airport was filled with random pedestrians.

Feeling vulnerable, surrounded by all these strangers, I lowered my gaze, and wrapped an arm around my chest, walking forward robotically.

Quietly, trying not to make a scene with my loud, clunky suitcase, I made my way to the gate, and sat on the navy benches, waiting for boarding time.

I detested attention to myself. I hated the thought of a spotlight wherever I walked. I tried my best not to draw any notice to myself, as I shuffled uncomfortably in the blue seats.

Closing my eyes, I tried to relax my muscles, ignoring the sounds around me. I could hear loud voices, chattering excitedly, and the constant blare of the loudspeakers, reporting airplane arrivals and boarding times, every few minutes.

I didn't have to wait long for mine.

"ATTENTION: FLIGHT CA3546 TO LOS ANGELES IS NOW BOARDING. I REPEAT: FLIGHT CA3546 TO LOS ANGELES IS NOW BOARDING."

I could hear a loud shuffle, as people around me stood up, preparing to enter the plane.

Glancing uneasily at the large crowd of people, assembling at the gate, I bit my lip and waited a couple minutes, until the line cleared a little, before I stood up and handed my airline ticket to the stewardess.

She smiled politely at me, beeping the barcode against the monitor, then gestured me onto the airplane.

_Seat 24A_

I blinked a couple times in uncertainty, wondering who I would have to sit next to for the next hour or so.

As I made my way there, the seat was currently empty. I sighed in relief, shoving my small suitcase in the gap under the seat in front of me, and sitting down patiently, checking briefly at the time displayed on the handlebar next to me.

_8:32 AM_

By the time I made it there, it would be around 10. Staring out the window, I watched as airport workers rushed around hurriedly, making finishing arrangements before take-off.

Finally, as the last passengers made their way onto the plane, a girl around my age stopped and stared at the seat next to me.

She was gorgeous. Though short, she was skinny, and did have a nice figure. Her hair was cropped, spiky, and a deep glossy ink black. A perfect straight nose and pouty pink lips, along with kind grey eyes, gazing at me with evident curiosity.

"Hi, sorry, but I'm 24 B. I sit there." She gestured apologetically at my duffle bag, which was placed upon her seat.

Blushing, I quickly grabbed the duffle bag, and shoved it frantically under the chair in front of me, along with my suitcase.

"S-Sorry," I muttered, looking away. This girl was so beautiful, it stung.

Exactly the kind of person Renee would regularly compare me to, yelling at me, blaming me for not be the kind of angel-looking girl she was.

The thought of Renee throbbed in my chest. Despite the way she had treated me, even up to now, the way she hated me, it always hurt me a little bit.

"So, hi, I'm Alice." The beautiful girl next to me smiled, holding a hand out expectantly.

Surprised by her friendly introduction, I jumped.

"Um, I-I'm Bella." Tentatively, I shook her hand.

The plane's seat-belt sight flashed on, and I quickly clasped the two buckles together. She did the same, and then looked at me again, the same curiosity flashing in her pretty eyes.

"So, where you from? Oh Jesus, that's a stupid question. Well, where around do you live?"

"Phoenix." I gave a blank answer, not really sure how to converse with this cheerful beauty.

"Oh, that's nice. I'm only here for visiting. Originally, I came from Washington, but I go to school in California. School's already started, you see, but my mom sent me here briefly."

"U-Um, Why?" I didn't mean to pry, but her face was one that simply drew my trust, and her tone sparked curiosity of my own.

"Well, yeah," She made a face. "A really important friend was visiting, and s-she's not doing so well. So we had to visit for a while. Everyone left first, but I stayed an extra week."

"Oh." I didn't know what to say. For me, it felt awkward, but Alice seemed very laid-back, talking to a complete dim-witted stranger like me.

"Yeah, I know. She's originally from Washington, but the doctor said she needed some sun. Arizona sounded pretty good."

I gave a small smile. "Well, Phoenix is the land of the sun."

She laughed. "Exactly! So how old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Oh, that's cool. Me too! When was you're birthday?"

"Last month."

And her questions kept coming, one after another. Fear started to subtly build up, as the topics of her questions jumped randomly.

What if she asked something to personal? What if something slipped?

I didn't want to be too cryptic, but I didn't want give her an invitation into the horror of my world.

I liked Alice. Though we had met around two minutes ago, I liked her charming, cheerful personality, and the way her smile lit up the dim interior of the plane.

But I didn't know her enough to reveal the haunting past I had lived through for seventeen years.

My eyes darkened briefly, and she seemed to notice as I flinched in remembrance.

"You okay, Bella?" Her large eyes were full of concern, and she reached out a hand and touched my arm.

I jumped, and she removed her hand, hesitance beginning to grow on her perfect face. "You alright?"

The plane rumbled. I was silent, as the seat began to vibrate. I could feel the speed as it rolled forward, along the runway.

My stomach jumped around, as the plane lifted off. I closed my eyes, letting the feeling sink in.

When I opened them, Alice was still staring at me, anxiety wavering on her face. "Bella?"

"I'm okay."

I let my muscles relax as the plane began to glide smoothly through the air, on the way to Los Angeles.

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**Word Count: 3,060**

**So there you have it. My rewritten version of Seventeen Ain't So Sweet.**

**I hope it's better than the first one, and it's more improved. **

**Please review!! I'd love to know what you guys think.**

**So thanks for reading. **

**I'll update as soon as I can. Hope you guys read my other story as well. **

**Please submit a review and give me your opinion. Thanks.**


	2. Seatbelts, Cab Drivers, and Room 246

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm glad you people like it so far, and I'll try not to get sick of this, too soon.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Please review!**

**Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

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**Chapter Two**

**Seatbelts, Cab Drivers, and Room 246**

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_My stomach jumped in reaction, as the plane lifted off. I closed my eyes, letting the feeling sink in._

_When I opened them, Alice was still staring at me, anxiety wavering on her face. "Bella?"_

_"I'm okay."_

_I let my muscles relax as the plane began to glide smoothly through the air, on the way to Los Angeles._

* * *

"My parents let us call them by their first names. So basically, Carlisle, my dad, well he's this surgeon. A heart surgeon, which, I guess, is pretty cool. My mom, Esme, she's an interior designer. I don't know if you've heard of her or not, but she's got all these factories all over the place, so we travel around quite a lot." She chattered on excitedly, and I nodded on, listening intently as she practically gave me a life-long description.

The plane had been in the air for around half an hour or so. Alice had been talking for half an hour or so. She only stopped to take a breath, her exuberance never fading within every constant sentence.

"My best friend's called Rosalie Hale, and she's a supermodel-like blonde. Tall. Blue-eyed. Oh, yeah," She laughed when I winced, unintentionally. "She sounds like a superficial bitch, doesn't she? Rose hates that. But she's really nice when you get to know her. A little bitchy when she gets mad, but who isn't?" She giggled again, but didn't notice this time when I flinched in reaction.

It wasn't as if I was complaining. I _was_ listening, and I _did_ find it quite interesting, but it was kind of hard to absorb all the information at once.

No one had every talked to me so vividly before. Shock was running in laps in my head, and I was only getting dizzier by the minute.

"Her brother, is Jasper. He's tall, taller than her, so obviously he towers over me," She rolled her eyes, but then a small smile grew on her face. "We're actually kind of going out. Well, for three years now, so that's not so bad. He's really sweet. And he's got this weird vibe that calms everyone down."

It was like listening to a biography. From the past, to the present, Alice listed off loads of things she loved, she'd done, her friends, her family. If I had a display screen, it would be flashing 'information overload!'.

"So why are you heading to Los Angeles, anyway?" She smiled brightly, waiting for my response.

I shuffled uncomfortably under her penetrating gaze. "School."

She giggled. "Me too! I'm going to this boarding school. Which school for you?" She raised an eyebrow inquisitively, leaning forward with a strangely expectant anticipation plastered across her face.

I bit my lip. Meeting Alice had been enough to send my mind into a whirlpool. Words and images were going round and round, and at this moment, I had completely forgotten my future. "I-I forgot. Sorry." I added a timid smile, hoping to prove that I had forgotten on purpose.

She laughed. "Oh doesn't matter. So how about siblings?" As usual, she easily flowed from one sentence to the next, luckily giving me no chance to stutter up an answer. "I've got two brothers. I'm the youngest."

She made a face, and I added a small smile on cue. "Emmett's huge. Loads of people think he's on steroids, but trust me, he's clean. He just works out like shit. He spends ages in the gym. He's really intimidating at first glance, but honestly, if you knew him, he's just this soft teddy bear on the inside."

From all the description I'd heard, it sounded more and more as if Alice had the _perfect_ life. She had those kind siblings, and best friends, and her parents were, well, no less than perfect. It made me uneasy, and I could feel the existing pit deepening in my stomach.

"Edward, on the other hand, well." She paused, and I didn't miss the disgust that flashed on her face. "Edward's a jackass, really. We're all pretty close, I guess, seeing as the five of us grew up together, and I'm closest with him, since he's sort of my twin, but lately, he's been so distant. I really don't know what to think, to be honest. But anyway, if you want to narrow down his personality, one word would be 'attention-seeker'."

She clenched her jaw for a moment, and I could easily tell that she hated this particular aspect of this Edward. "He loves ladies, and he loves being the spotlight of things. He's a good brother, but as a person, he's just this conceited little rich boy."

I froze as a cold shock of recognition ran up and down my veins. It wasn't the second time I had known someone like that.

Oh, I'd known him very well.

So well, that he had his grip on enough of me, to reach out and break my heart. Then no more then six months later, he came back, only to burn the pieces.

_"Hey there, Bella." He walked up to me, a gentle smile on his face. If only I'd known earlier about his superior acting skills. But this was before any contact between us had occurred. _

_Jake was clean and innocent in my eyes. _

_So I drank it all in. The first time I met him. _

_"H-Hi." He told me he loved it when I got all stuttery. He said it was really 'cute'. _

_"I'm Jacob Black. Quil told me your name." He held out a hand, and raised a confident eyebrow. Quil was in my Literature class, and sat a couple rows to my left._

_"I'm Bella. B-Bella Swan." My heart thumped rapidly, as I reached out a trembling hand to shake his. I analyzed every aspect of his beautiful face. The flawless golden-tan skin, the midnight black eyes, and the perfectly straight nose. _

_I didn't trust people easily. Most of the time, I let my instincts decide who to keep away from, but at this moment, where he was looking directly into my eyes, and as I breathed in his calming, musky scent, my instincts were being seriously overwhelmed._

_"I know." He chuckled, his voice smooth and deep. It was like drawing a moth to a flame. _

_Only the moth doesn't know how far it's being pulled in, before it get's burnt._

"Bella!" Then a loud, slapping noise.

I reacted as if I'd been electrified. My eyes widened, and I jumped to react, one arm wrapping around my torso, the other hand holding my cheek.

My eyes darted around frantically, looking for the source, my heart thumping rapidly.

As my vision slowly focused, I could see Alice, looking quite shocked, her hands an inch apart. She had clapped to get my attention.

I had misinterpreted.

The loud slapping noise...Memories flooded into my head, and I closed my eyes, as if to ease the pain.

Reminiscing Jake had only cut deeper into the wound in my heart, and now recollections of Renee poured in like a second wave, unstoppable, and completely destructive.

"B-Bella?"

I didn't answer. I opened my eyes, and stared firmly on the ground. I tried to slow my breathing, to calm my heartbeat from the shock that had suddenly flashed in my chest.

Though I hadn't even been touched physically, visible tremors ran down my spine.

I wasn't in control. In my mind, I panicked. _What would Alice think now? She'd probably state that I was some freak who belonged in some psycho ward, and run for her life as soon as the plane hit the ground._

But I couldn't stop the shivering. Even as voices screamed in my head to get in control, I couldn't stop the involuntarily reactions that had taken over.

"Bella, look at me." Her voice was gentle, but firm. Slowly, yet unwillingly, I ripped my gaze away from the carpeted floor, and nervously made contact with her wide, beautiful eyes.

I didn't say a word. She bit a lip, her eyes analyzing, studying, examining the fresh, clearly visible terror that ran in tremors on my face.

"What was that?" From her tone, it was easy to decipher she wanted the truth from me. Here and now.

I swallowed. I had to lie, of course. That was my only option.

"N-Nothing. I...The seatbelt jabbed into my hip."

_Lie better!_ My sub-consciousness screamed, as I watched nervously, as emotions flickered through Alice's perfect angel face.

"You blanked out for a minute, and then had some sort of shock, because your seatbelt poked you." Sarcasm dripped off every word in her sentence, and her voice was dead flat.

I swallowed heavily, but forced myself to look her directly in the eye. "Y-Yeah."

She sighed, and stared blankly out the window for a moment, her expression thoughtful. "Okay. So. Well. Tell me a bit about you. I've been talking far too long. Any siblings?"

I shook my head, exhaling loudly; relieved by the fact she had dropped the whole incident.

She raised an eyebrow. "So you're an only child?" Finally she laughed again, the cheerful and bell-like, tinkling in the silence of the plane. "Jesus, you have no idea how I wish I _was_ one, sometimes. Emmett has this unhealthy obsession with pranks, and Edward, well; he just pisses the shit out of everyone."

I gave a timid smile, hoping she wouldn't notice the fact that my lips were still trembling slightly.

The second half of the airplane ride would be much longer than the first.

* * *

"So, you'll call me, right?" Her eyes pleaded along with her words, as she pressed the piece of paper with her number written on it, into my hand.

"O-Of course. When I can." I didn't raise the fact that I didn't exactly own a cell phone.

She smiled brightly. "Good. I'll see you then. Bye, Bella!" She waved, and skipped off towards the other exit, where I could see a silver Volvo was waiting. I could see her waving to someone behind the glass, her face still glowing with her relentless optimism.

I waved back meekly, and stumbled back to a different exit.

My chest thumped with uncertainty. I was finally in California.

Alone.

I was fucking scared. Though in Arizona, I had adapted over time to the blistering heat, this felt different.

It wasn't temperature. It was atmosphere. Sweat pooled in the base of my palm, as I absorbed my surroundings.

There was no one I knew around for at least the next thousand mile radius, with the exception of Alice, who didn't count since I had not known who she was since an hour ago.

Timidly, I raised an arm at the cab stand.

No more than a minute later, a bright yellow taxi skidded to a stop, and an old cab driver stuck his head out the window. I jumped.

"Where to, girly?" He winked, and I shuddered instinctively in disgust.

"S-Southern California Boarding High." Trying to hold my head up high, I attempted to force some hint of confidence into my voice.

He smiled widely at me, his voice deepening. "Well, hop in, honey."

I glared, trying to look fierce, but with a failed effort.

I didn't want to get in. I wanted to turn, and run as far as I could from this dirty son of a bitch.

But the heat was bounding against my back. I didn't have a bottle of water handy, and my mouth felt as dry as the desert.

Disgust flashed on my face, but I had no choice, so I stepped into the cab, dragging my suitcase with me, shuddering as a blast of cold air hit.

The driver turned around, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Buckle up, sweetheart, don't want you to get _hurt_, now." His grin widened, revealing rows of yellowed teeth.

Cowering, fear washed up and down my stomach, as I tried to shrink into the gap between the seats and the car door.

"I _said_," Trying to make myself sound firm, I glared at the driver. "S-Southern California Boarding H-High."

He raised a single eyebrow, but looked away, jamming his foot on the gas pedal.

I gazed upon the scenery behind windows, as we raced by.

* * *

"So, where you from, honey?"

I clenched my jaw, trying to ignore his repulsive voice, attempting time after time to strike up a conversation.

"Aw, don't be like that sweetheart." He grinned widely, glancing back at me constantly through his rearview mirror.

I was deathly uncomfortable. Unease pooled in my head, my stomach, my chest, and every few seconds, my hand would tremble involuntarily.

"Hey, is your mother single?" He asked, booming with confidence, and then he cackled off with laughter.

I flinched, shuddering again. I could feel a familiar pooling at the back of my eyes, and I quickly used the back of my hand to wipe away any escaped tears.

The cab driver didn't notice the subtle beginnings of waterworks about to pour.

"How old are you, anyway, sweetie?" That stupid fucking grin.

Pursing my lips, I thought quickly, and then stated flatly, "Fifteen."

It wiped all traces of humor from his face, and he shut up. A tiny voice in my head gave a timid shout of triumph, and I continued to study the view outside my window.

The sculpted buildings. The flashy neon letters, advertising a range of different businesses. High heels. Designer shopping bags. Leather purses.

I winced at the building jabbing sensation in my chest. I was never going to fit in here.

I bit my lip, as mixed emotions erupted in my head. Closing my eyes, I just let it soak in.

* * *

"Hey, darling, that'll be-" The cab driver began.

"Keep the change." I slapped a tenner in his hand, and darted out the cab before he could say another word.

Dragging my suitcase with me, I pulled out the forms that Renee had thrown at me a couple days back, out of my duffle bag.

I was in building two. I glanced around nervously, looking for anything to help. My eyes landing on a small map, I quickly memorized the directions.

Walking for around five minutes or so, I had time to analyze my surroundings.

Boarding school.

I had never been so far from home before. Not that it was much of a home to me. Fear pumped in my chest.

I could see a beach about a mile out. I could hear an audible shouts and playful screams.

Unease pooled in my head again. These were typical students, having fun on a normal sunny Saturday.

Something I had never touched, experienced in my life.

I wouldn't fit in here.

I couldn't.

I never fit in anywhere. With a life controlled by Renee, it wasn't easy for me to trust anyone.

Not that anyone wanted to trust me. One look at me, and it was undeniable of the rejection blazing in their eyes.

Why had I been so open to Jake? It was simple. He liked me. He smiled at me. He said he loved me.

It wasn't until a lot later on, I realized it was bullshit.

The embraces. The words. The kiss.

Bullshit.

And if was after that, I started to build thick walls around a broken heart, hoping to shield it from the kind of pain again.

I had learnt not to trust anyone.

Renee. My mother. One of the people who is meant to hold a significant role in a girls life, with a natural, inevitable, loving bond between the two.

That didn't exist between us.

Jake. The one guy who I thought I was supposed to open up to, and willingly pour him my heart.

He crushed it. Ruthlessly.

Time after time, I was being shot done.

I wasn't going to put myself up on the wall anymore. It was too much.

Life was fucking tough. I had to deal with it. Alone.

No matter how hard I had thought it was, it was like I had no choice.

Pushing the tears back, I sighed, as I could finally see the silver lettering 'Building Two' in the distance. Inhaling deeply, I dragged my suitcase up the steps.

* * *

"E-Excuse me?" I tapped my fingers on the desk lightly, with the words 'Reception', labeled across.

The red-headed lady looked up. "Yes, dear?" She smiled pleasantly, and I tried to do the same.

"I'm new here. My name's I-Isabella Swan." Timidly, I placed the forms on her table. With one ring-covered hand, she reached out and examined it, her eyes raking the documents behind the thick-rimmed glasses.

"Let me check, dear." She then turned to her computer, and typed in a few things. I could see my photo pop up, as well as my name and age, on the screen. There was a list of information below it. She looked at me briefly, comparing the photograph to my face, and then quickly typed in a few words, too fast for me to see.

"Well, here are your keys." She pulled them out of her drawer. "You'll be in room 246. And, this," She pulled out a bunch of forms from a cabinet. "This is everything you'll need. Your timetable, a map, and information about the school."

"Thank you," My voice was small, as I stuffed the forms in my duffle bag.

"The elevator is on the left, down the hall. You should be on the second floor. Usually, I'd tell you to take the stairs, since it's a short way, but you've got a suitcase, so you're an exception today. Welcome to Southern California Boarding High, Isabella, and have a good year." She smiled again.

I nodded, and walked off to the elevator. I doubted she meant what she said. The words were so typical; they didn't even need a thought, or a meaning. They were just words.

An hour in California. My evaluation of this place hadn't elevated at all.

In fact, I was pretty sure it had only dropped into negativity.

I was never an optimist, anyway.

* * *

My eyes were wide as I stepped out of the elevator. There was an audible 'ding', and the doors closed hastily.

I studied the hallway. The ceiling and walls were coated with light beige wallpaper, decorated with a scattered array of flowery patterns.

The carpet was thick, colored with a deep, ocean blue, and it felt soft to the undersides of my shoe.

There were doors on each side of the hallway, constructed with a polished wood mahogany, with the room numbers labeled across in gold lettering.

I walked slowly down the hallway, letting the carpet brush gently against the soles of my shoes.

_Room 246_.

It was at the end of the hallway, the sunlight in the window beside it reflecting gently upon the metal words.

Slowly, I stuck the key gently in the key hole, jumping slightly when there was a loud 'click'.

I wrapped my hand around the golden doorknob, and twisted it, until I felt it unlock.

Lightly, I pushed open the door.

* * *

**Word Count: 3180**

**I got really frustrated writing this, because halfway, I accidently closed the page, and lost about 1000 words. It really pissed me off. **

**Anyway, what do you think? I guess it was kind of boring, just a filler chapter, but it was kind of necessary, so yeah.**

**Please review! I really want to know what you think of it so far.**

**Thanks :)**


	3. Nothing That Matters

**Okay, so sorry I haven't updated in so long, but my parents dragged me to my grandparent's, which was shit boring, so it isn't exactly my fault...**

**By the way, I know on my other story, I said I would update a couple days ago, but I couldn't since I had a 104 degree fever.  
It wasn't nice.  
**

**I'm still really sick, so you can see how nice I am, actually getting up from my warm soft bed to actually submit this. So, here's a new chapter. I know a lot of people have been asking where the first version is, to everybody: I DELETED IT.  
And it was like half a year ago, so there's no chance of ever reading it, sorry guys. **

**Ok, this is the next chapter. Enjoy. **

**Please review and show me some love. Thanks. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Three**

**Nothing That Matters**

**

* * *

**

_Slowly, I stuck the key gently in the key hole, jumping slightly when there was a loud 'click'._

_I wrapped my hand around the golden doorknob, and twisted it, until I felt it unlock._

_Lightly, I pushed open the door._

_

* * *

_

A gorgeous, curvy blonde was lying on the bed flat on her stomach. Her bare arms were a gentle golden tan, matching her shiny honey hair, which wavered down to the small of her back. Every feature on her face was sharp and flawless, I realized, the usual despair whirling in the pit of my stomach.

She was beautiful.

She glanced up with her striking blue eyes, her lips pulling into a friendly smile.

"Hey! You must be the new girl!" Standing up, she towered a couple inches over me. She held out a hand, her expression still kind. "I'm Rosalie Hale, but you can call me Rose."

Biting my lip, I timidly exchanged the gesture. "Isabella." Too nervous to cross formalities. I wasn't good at making friends.

I studied the room briefly. The size was actually rather big, and was curved into a creative circular shape, the floor coated with a thick red carpet. The light beige walls were plastered with an array of posters, and pretty gold lights hung from the flawless white ceiling. Another wooden door led to the closet, which I could guess easily from the numerous clothing racks scattered on the ground.

Three beds were lined up in a row on the left, and two of them I could easily tell had been occupied, from the obvious array of belongings scattered on them. A slightly familiar luggage lay next to the bed in the middle.

Rosalie followed my gaze to the beds, and her smile widened. "Oh, you can take the bed next the wall, if you don't mind, since Alice and I took the others - Alice, is my best friend, by the way, she also rooms here. She's out now, since she just came back from Arizona, which is why you see her suitcase and everything."

My eyebrows shot up with recognition as I matched her words together, and I could feel a spark of hope flash in my mind. "Arizona?"

Rose nodded, knitting her eyebrows in confusion. "You know her?"

"I think...Alice Cullen? D-Does she have short black hair, and is about...this height?" I cautiously raised my hand to about my chin, and looked at Rose, the confirmation in her eyes growing.

Her stunning blue eyes lit up, and her face brightened considerably. "You _do_ know her! Wait..." She blinked a couple times, and then nodded, grinning. "Oh, I think I know, _Isabella_. You're the Bella Swan from the plane, aren't you?!?"

From the mention of Alice, I smiled slightly, and nodded. "Y-Yeah, that would be me. I didn't know you two came to this school." Despite the un-confidence in my voice, the surprise was easily evident in my voice.

Rosalie gently laid a hand on my arm, her eyebrows only knitting a fraction when I flinched. She pulled me to the bed, and chuckled slightly. "I know, and I'm pretty surprised you'd show up here as well. She said that one-hour flight was not enough time to talk to you, and ask where you were going to. I can guess she never stopped talking?"

By the smile itching its way onto my lips, Rose took it as a 'yes'.

She laughed again, a twinkly sound of chimes and bells. "That's Alice alright. She'll be ecstatic that you're rooming with us! It's really too much a coincidence. First she tells us about a gorgeous stranger that she met on the plane – whom she absolutely _adores_ by the way – and you actually appear on our doorstep! It's fucking amazing!!"

I jumped slightly, but I wallowed briefly in the shot of pleasure that ran up my spine.

Alice actually liked me. I smiled gently at the memory of the relentlessly joyous black-haired girl.

A strange, unfamiliar feeling of warmth washed through my chest.

Rosalie spoke again, luckily, before I could come up with something to say. "So, tell me about you! Alice filled me in so much, I've deafened a little, so I want to hear a little something from you."

My smile grew, and my mood elevated at the further mention of Alice. Her relentless optimism was contagious, and it was no wonder her best friend Rose was so similar.

"You can..." Hesitating slightly, I waved her forward with my hand, "Ask what y-you want..."

Bouncing the bed a little, Rose tilted her head to one side. "So, where are you from? I know I'm going through the basics, but I'd rather start from scratch. That's how I like to get to know someone."

She waited expectantly for an answer, and I swallowed heavily at the repetition of questioning, just like earlier today. It was like an interview all over again.

"Phoenix, Arizona." Choking out an uncomfortable laugh, I added, "That's why I was on the same plane with Alice. From Arizona."

Laughing gently again, she ignored the awkwardness in my voice, and thought for a moment, and then continued to ask.

"So, who are your parents? What do they do?"

Freezing, I stared immobilized at the floor. Panic flashed in my head, and I struggled to control my heartbeat that was threatening to quicken. Clenching my fist, my mind fumbled through excuses.

"Bella?"

"Y-Yes?!" My eyes widened on impulse, and I nervously straightened up, forcing a small smile hoping to mask my previous glitch.

She shrugged away my awkward reaction, the casual smile still glowing from her face. "I asked you 'bout your parents. Anything interesting about them?"

Flinching slightly, I looked away, struggling to hold a confident mask, but I could feel my lips already beginning to twitch with panic.

Rose tilted her head, and I could see the evident confusion flaring in her eyes. Though she waited patiently for my reaction, her expression was calculating, as if she was trying to decipher something in her head.

Turning back, I forced the words out of my mouth. "M-My parents are divorced. I live with my...mother, in Arizona. She recently, um, r-remarried."

My hand jumped slightly as a wave of memories rapidly twisted through my mind, though I was more prepared this time, and forced them out of my head, before it could attack me again.

I held my breath, so it wouldn't quicken in panic by mistake.

Rosalie studied my expression, but then nodded sympathetically. "Jackass stepfather?" Misjudging my expression, she patted my shoulder gently.

Of course she wouldn't guess.

A shiver ran down my spine, and I quickly retracted my hand from her grasp. The muscles in my arms tensed, and I could feel sweat beginning to pool at the base of my palm.

When I looked up again, Rosalie was watching me with unfathomable curiosity, though her eyes were guarded, raking my expression up and down with her piercing blue eyes.

"I-I'm sorry," Apologizing meekly, I blurted the first words that clashed into my head. "H-He's not a nice...man."

Nodding vigorously, she chuckled. "Oh, that's pretty typical with nearly all men." She joked easily, the kindness reappearing naturally on her face. "It's okay; I can tell you hate these questions."

Her tone proved that her words were more a statement rather than a question. I could tell that she was teasing, but there was a curiosity radiating from her aspect of her voice.

Shifting uncomfortably under the pressure of her gaze, I looked down. "A...A little bit. Sorry."

She laughed again, her optimism never wavering just like Alice. "Don't apologize. I can get to learn about you at your pace, I don't really mind." She tilted her hand, so she could see the red leather watch clasped on her wrist. "If I'm not mistaken, Alice should be home, like..." I jumped as the door bell suddenly interrupted her mental countdown. Rosalie didn't notice, instead turning excitedly to the door. "Now!"

Standing up, she gestured for me to follow. A mischievous smile bloomed on her perfect face, as she raised a single finger to her lips.

"Rose?" Alice's familiar voice called through from behind the wooden door.

There was silence, as Rose giggled quietly. I waited in an awkward silence, not feeling that I really fit in with the cheerful girly scenario.

"ROSE?!" Alice yelled louder, rapping her knuckles against the door.

A smile on her face, Rose leaned against the wall to the right of the door. She pretended to sigh, deafened to Alice's voice, gazing out the balcony, not before sending a wink in my direction.

"ROSALIE LILLIAN HALE! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE SINCE EMMETT JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH YOU!!!"

Finally letting a joyous laughter escape her full lips, Rosalie swung the door upon, and enveloped the little Alice in a hug. "Alice, you will _never_ fucking guess who is rooming with us!!"

I stood silently behind the open door, smiling slightly as I recognized what Rose was pulling off.

I could hear Alice sigh. "Are you pulling another celebrity joke, Rose? I still remember your _other_ ones pretty clearly, and I will _not_ fall for this one."

Rose chuckled, and she walked from out the door into my line of sight. She winked again, and pulled Alice further in, so her back was to me.

Alice took in a deep breath, about to speak, but then her gaze landed on my duffle bag, resting upon the spare bed. "Hey..."

Rosalie bounced on the spot. "Familiar?"

"I know that bag..." Alice whispered, and I could hear her natural smile creeping into her voice. "I saw it today..." Ripping her gaze from the back, she turned quickly around, her eyes searching the room frantically.

Finally, she her gaze landed on me. "_Bella_?!?" Her eyes were wide with disbelief, though her lips then pulled into an elated grin. "Bella!!!" Her words were no longer a question, confirming that I was really here.

A natural smile grew on my face, and I gave a shy wave. "Hi, Alice."

She took a few steps towards me, then reaching out and wrapping me in a tight, genuine hug. "I never actually thought I would see you again! I'm can't _believe_ this! You're actually _rooming_ with me!"

Trying not to react as I usually did from a person's touch; I timidly reached out and patted her on the back. "Y-Yeah, I am. It's nice to see you too, Alice."

She loosened her grip and leaned back, grinning. "Honestly, if I'd known you were coming to this school, I'd have invited you to ride home with me. I'm sure Edward wouldn't have minded."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "A hot girl hitching a ride in his car. Edward would _never_ mind."

Alice chuckled in response, but I shifted uncomfortably under her words.

The name Edward irritated me more and more by the second. Maybe even scared me little too inside.

"So, do you have any plans for today?" Alice took a few steps backwards and collapsed onto my bed, looking at both Rose and me expectantly. "What do you think, Rose? Give Bella a little tour of the famous Southern California Boarding High?"

Rosalie grabbed Alice's hand, and raised an eyebrow, her face bright with enthusiasm. "Alice, we're going to the mall today, remember? Just bring Bella! A shopping trip there can last the day. Plus, the mall is easily worth it."

Alice's face brightened, and she looked at me inquisitively. "Do you mind, Bella? I mean, the mall is absolutely _huge_. Glamorous, elegant, and nearly every hot shop you would ever know of."

Her enthusiasm ticked at me self-esteem a little, and I twitched in reaction. "The mall?"

Rose joined in. "Yeah, its right outside campus and it has everything you can ever _dream_ of."

Two beautiful, kind, people persuading me to go shopping with them. I could feel my willpower crumble slightly.

Nervously, I bit my lip. "I-I don't shop. I mean, I have no taste."

Alice giggled. "Rose, didn't I tell her it's too easy to love her? Bella, you're amazingly gorgeous, and we're so willing to buy some outfits for you." Rose nodded in agreement.

"No!" I raised a hand in protest. "No, no, I can't let you pay for me, guys. Honestly, I can stay here. You guys enjoy yourself shopping. I'll just ruin all your fun."

Rose sighed. "Bella, I wouldn't believe the last thing you said for the world, and neither of us gives a shit about money. It's not us you mind, right?" Though she spoke the last sentence teasingly, her eyes flashed in curiosity.

I shook my head frantically. "No, of course not!"

Rose raised a quizzical eyebrow, though an amused smile was still glowing on her face.

"I..." I was terrified of offending them, despite how nice they were to me. It's just...I had never exactly been on a shopping trip before.

"I-I really am not a shopping person. It's not that I don't like you two, honestly."

Amused, Alice shook her head. "Oh, come on, Bella. Just come along!" She pursed her lips in despair, and her eyebrows pulled upwards.

It was a heartbreaking expression, and I could see Rose shake her head in amusement.

"That fucked-up puppy-dog expression. I'd usually tell you not to fall for it, but, Bella, I kind of want you to join us and hit the mall. Honestly, I hope you don't mind."

Worriedly, I shook my head. "F-Fine, I'll go. It's not you guys, it honestly is me. I'm just not a shopper." Smiling meekly, I looked at the floor.

Rose and Alice laughed in unison, Alice patting my hand affectionately. "Don't worry, Bella, you have any problems, you come to us. We're your friends now."

I looked up, and saw Rose nodding vigorously to Alice's words. "What she said," She added, pointing to Alice to prove her agreement.

Bliss and happiness shot up my chest, and I felt a heavy relief throb in my chest. I actually had friends here.

The feeling was so strange.

It made me smile.

---

Rose burst into hysterics as Alice finished the last verse of the song, which she had completed through opera. Soprano, specifically.

"Oh my god, Alice," Rose gasped, tears of laughter streaming down her face. "Could you get any worse?"

Alice smirked, slapping Rosalie playfully on the shoulder. "If you want to hear anything _worse_, then I suggest you sing for us, _Rosalie_." She retorted teasingly.

Rosalie raised a middle finger at the rearview mirror, but then turned her attention back to the road. "Watch your mouth, pixie, I'm driving. One step out of line, I'll ram you into a tree or something."

Alice pretended to gasp in horror, and the two of them burst into laughter. I chuckled hesitantly on the side.

They were so close, so at ease, so _happy_ together, it actually hurt.

I hadn't had a best friend, nor simply a friend. Ever.

Pain began to burn in my chest, and the illusion of jealousy slowly built in my mind.

But, no.

That wasn't right.

I shouldn't be jealous of them. They hadn't done anything to me. They simple lived a life I had always dreamed of, from the moment I was able to recognize what my life had become.

Fuck.

I watched affectionately as the two of them bickered over some dress Alice bought last week. The bond between them was so close, so sweet, and I had never touched anything of the liking before.

I wished for it though.

I wished for it so much, so badly, so willingly, that it hurt. Excruciatingly. More than any physical blow that I could ever receive.

It wasn't like I deserved it though.

I was what Renee had made me.

What her words had sculpted me into.

"Right, Bella?" Alice asked, that genuine beautiful smile still glowing on her face.

"What?" I shook the thoughts frantically out of my head, and try to jump back into whatever topic they had began to converse over now.

"Just because I'm short, does not mean I lack brain size."

Rosalie burst into laughter again. "I didn't say that! I just said you were stupid! I didn't say that concerned you being short!"

Crossing her arms, Alice huffed in anger. "Well, you say it about me enough, so why shouldn't either topic relate? Huh, Rose, huh?" She countered.

Rose just laughed, shaking her head in false despair. She turned to me and winked. "Bella, you're obviously over five feet, aren't you?"

Nodding slowly, a smile growing timidly on my face, I answered. "Y-Yeah." I wasn't exactly sure where she was leading me.

Shooting a pointed glance at Alice, she nodded seriously at me. "Then you can laugh."

---

We had arrived at The Mall. Alice had repeatedly instructed me to talk about it with intentional emphasis. It wasn't the mall. It was...The Mall.

It wasn't until I saw it that I understood. A bit.

It wasn't like anything I had seen in Arizona.

And it wasn't simply the beautiful glass structure, looped in a circular design, which caught my breath. Adding on to that, was the way it reflected against the sun, each carved glass piece adding it's own rainbow light to the display, and the giant water fountain glimmered along, every drop sparkling at its own accord.

As if that wasn't enough.

I stepped in, Alice and Rosalie pulling me in with blatant enthusiasm glowing from each of their faces. A cool blast of air hit me as soon as I passed the doorway, and I shivered on instinct.

The mall flawlessly suited the exterior as it did inside. The roof was designed completely from glass, and the sun gleamed down to the ground, reflecting brightly against the marble floor. Famous brands; Prada, Burberry, Dolce & Cabana, flashed from every direction I could see.

Escalators curved up and down the mall, coordinating amazingly with the circular design of the mall itself. And _another_ fountain was set in the center of it all, decorated beautifully with classic Greek designs.

My eyes widened in awe, and I dropped Alice's hand in admiration.

"So...?" Alice turned to me expectantly, pleased by my reaction already. "What do you think?"

"It's amazing." I breathed, my voice coated with disbelief. My eyes raked over every single detail I could spot. Usually I wasn't entranced by some stupid mall, but this one was different. It held some sort of...irresistible elegance, to it.

_Everything in California was bound to be different_, I reminded myself, my 'voice' hinted with intuition.

"Rose, Rose, Rose!! I completely forgot when Bella arrived. It's October, which means..." Alice gasped, interrupting the thoughts flowing rapidly in my head.

Rosalie's face lit up noticeably. "Oh! Summer sale!! Perfect, Bella, you came at the right time."

_It wasn't up to me_, my mind countered back instantly.

It was up to Renee.

Renee.

Her.

I closed my eyes, trying to push the sudden jump of pain out of my chest. My hand wrapped around my chest unconsciously, and I could feel a sharp fear shoot up my spine.

A tremor racked through my body.

"Bella?" I opened my eyes to two very concerned faces. Rose had one arm around me, and Alice held my right hand tightly.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Unlike Alice's more gentle coaxing voice, Rose held some authority in her tone. I flinched automatically, and lightly shook both their grasps off.

"It's nothing. It was just a little…chilly." By both their faces, I could tell neither of them were convinced by my words. Inhaling, I forced a shaky smile on my face, trying to reassure them.

"Nothing that matters."

---

"So, if it was originally 125 dollars, and at 60 percent off, that means I saved 75 whole dollars!! Is that right?" Her eyes were wide with fear as she turned to Rose and me for reassurance.

Rosalie rolled her eyes, smiling in amusement. "Bella, you see, Alice actually sucks at math at school, but when it comes to shopping, there is no sale she cannot work out. It honestly blows your mind."

Alice stuck her tongue at Rosalie, but grinned anyway.

"Plus, Alice," Rose added, "If you look at all that you're holding, I don't think you saved _any_ money."

Raising an eyebrow, Alice shot a glance downwards. Her tiny hands grasped the straps of around twenty or more bags, but she herself seemed unaffected by the weight.

"And adding to that, of course, are the bags me and Bella are holding for you." Rosalie tilted her head pointedly at the shopping bags that the both of us held as well.

"Hey, half of the stuff you are holding is yours, Rose!" Alice scowled, then adding an apologetic, "Sorry, though, for you, Bella."

"It's alright," I reassured her, and her face brightened again.

Rosalie, on the other hand, rolled her eyes. "You're too nice, Bella." To Alice, she accused, "The other half would be yours, wouldn't it?"

Alice sighed heavily, then pouted in defeat. Rose and I chuckled affectionately in unison.

"Well, it's not _that_ bad." Alice chided, mostly to herself, "I thought it was _worse_ last time. And since these were mostly on sale, think of these more of an...investment."

Rose laughed. "If you take that as a good thing, then yes, good job, Alice Mary Cullen." She congratulated sarcastically.

I smiled in genuine humor as Alice's face lit up.

Inside, I could feel my insides twist, but not as they usually did.

Not in the way that made me gasp for breath, and clutch my chest as if the delicate heart inside would shatter.

It was something...positive.

I had never felt so...happy before.

This...contentment that radiated in my chest was so pleasing, and I really liked it.

"Honestly, Rose, my allowance isn't your problem. I'm _can_ keep track if I want to." Alice made a face, shaking her head at the tall blonde.

Laughing, Rosalie added on teasingly, "Your mother loves you too much for your own good."

I froze.

All the contentment that warmed in my chest vanished instantly on the spot.

Her mother loved her.

Did mine?

Of course not.

There was no sense in even asking.

Her eyes never even flashed with the words of affection, nor were they spoken with her lips.

She hated me. With every single will in her self control, she loathed me.

It was stupid to even think of Renee even uttering the words _I_ _love you_ to me.

Impossible.

It felt as if my heart clenched, and pain convulsed in my chest.

Renee's voice echoed fiercely in my head.

_"Isabella, you are no more than a wretched fucking bitch!" She swore, her hand lashing out to slap my cheek._

My eyes closed instinctively, my jaw clenched, as if to quench the pain.

_"You don't deserve to live_._" She hissed, anger twisting and flaring in her words, yet mixed with a hint of pleasure as she watched indifferently, as tears rolled relentlessly down my cheek._

My fists tightened, then unclenched, and I could hear the echoes of the voices, Alice and Rosalie repeatedly calling my name in panic.

_I knew what was coming for me the instinct the plates hit the ground, and I landed on top of them._

_I was fifteen._

_The shattered glass that pierced my underarms and my bare knees was nothing compared to the fear that was building its way up my chest, to spark the scream waiting to escape through my throat._

_The silence was cold and frightening, but nothing close to the eyes I saw next._

_They were so filled with fury, burning with an utter loathing that no fire could compare._

_"Swan, you little bitch!!"_

_Roughly, she pulled me up with my wrists, ignoring my tremors that ran through my spine as broken plate remnants sliced through my calves._

_"So careless and stupid. What did I do to deserve a useless slut like you?!?"_

_Her arm flexed backwards, and I closed my eyes tightly, preparing myself for her next assault. Her palm came in contact with my face with a loud 'crack', and I whimpered pathetically as pain shot through my cheek, as she shoved me carelessly against the wall._

_"How dare you, how dare you," She breathed heavily, her voice dripping in absolute hatred. Alcohol reeked from her breath. "How _dare_ you?!"_

_"Clean it up." She whispered ferociously, her nails piercing intentionally into my wrists. Her eyes glowering with hatred, she released her grip and flung me heavily on the ground, ignoring the shattered array of broken plates on the waiting for me there._

_I forced my mouth shut as the sharp glass tore again at my skin, not wanting to make a sound._

_With one last glance, she added, her voice filled with contempt loathing, "You mean nothing to me."_

_She stalked out the room, her head held high._

_The numbness throbbed in my chest, blacking out the pain that screamed in my limbs, time and time over._

My vision was fading, as the sight of the mall made its way back into my mind.

Pain burned relentlessly in my chest, and this time, my willpower had faded too far, to try control it this time.

I could feel myself slowing losing control of my limbs, and my legs suddenly giving way.

Arms frantically supported my back, although I could feel they were trembling, not strong enough to carry me for long.

I opened my eyes again, but everything was dim, and the mall which once seemed so bright was only becoming black.

Voices that screamed in my ear were mere echoes, and I could feel my self-consciousness begin to slip.

Last thing I heard was Alice urgently instructing Rosalie, "Call they guys and get them here, now Rose!"

My eyelids shut, my arms collapsed, and everything went black.

* * *

**Word Count: 4,283**

**Well that was really dramatic. **

**I hope you like it anyway.**

**I actually remember writing this. Bella's famous panic attack chapter. It was kind of funny to write. **

**So I'm just going to sleep now, and hopefully my throbbing headache will go away.**

**Cyan.**

**And please review. I'd love to read what you think of it. **


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